I met this guy in an up scale bar in Newport RI one night. The
bar was full of beautiful people and I prayed that he didn’t notice the tall
blonde to my right. I needed to keep his attention! His blue eyes were striking against his tanned
skin and dark hair. I’m not sure who
approached whom first. I do remember
staring at his full lips as he spoke and wondered if he was a good kisser. He told me that he lived in Providence RI but was in the middle of renovating a penthouse in Boston. He was charming
(That’s right, I used the word charming) and so confident! I hung on every word he said and came up with
a few gems that kept him amused.
“You know, I’m pretty good at
decorating. I would love to help you if
you’d like.” I said.
He didn’t answer me right away. He looked me as if he was waiting for a punch
line. I wasn’t joking, I would have
helped him decorate his new home. I
loved the way my condo in Connecticut was coming along.
“Thank you but I’ve hired a
professional decorator.” He said
Well, I didn’t
see a road trip to IKEA in our near future but I did see myself sipping
champagne in a penthouse! I had to play
it cool with this guy. He couldn’t know
how impressed I was. He was beautiful,
successful and available but I couldn't keep the conversation going. I ran out of things to say so I threw in the towel. I could tell that he was losing interest and
quite frankly, I got tired of repositioning myself so he didn’t see that blonde. This chance encounter was fun while it lasted.
“Here’s my
card.” He said handing me his business
card.
“I don’t
have my cards on me. Here is my number.”
I said but he stopped me before I could give it to him.
“Write down
your email address on this.” He said and
flipped over another one of his cards.
I wrote down my
email then handed him the card. This was a first, who asks a woman for an email
address? I thought for sure I was never
going to hear from him. My friends and I
left the bar and debated the business card exchange. We dissected the entire conversation for a
week trying to figure out where I went wrong.
I never wanted to blow another opportunity to date an attractive
successful man again. I didn’t give up
on him though. I checked my emails every
night to see if he would surprise me with a message, and one night he did!!
“Do you like the Red Sox’s? If you do, I could get us tickets for a game
this week.” He sent.
“Sure, let me know what night and I’ll meet
you there. Call me.” I typed and
included my phone number.
I guess I didn’t
blow it! I was given a second chance and I didn’t want to do anything to screw
this up. I knew that I needed to leave
Connecticut early to get my butt in Boston on time!
We met at a busy
restaurant close to the Fenway Park and had dinner before the game. We laughed and exchanged stories over drinks
and French fries, it was a perfect night so far. He was a really sweet guy, very attentive and
considerate. The one time he checked his
watch, he noticed we were missing part of the game. He paid the bill and we hurried out into the
street.
“This way!” He said as he took a hold of my hand and led
us to the gate.
I usually don’t
like holding hands in public but this guy was HOT so I didn’t mind at all. Everything he did was so romantic and I loved it. We found our section then went to the
concession stand for beers. We continued
to talk about our hobbies and he expressed his obsession with the Red Sox. I thought it was adorable that he kept
talking to me instead of watching the game.
“Should we go sit in our seats?” I suggested.
“Sure” He replied and handed me my
ticket.
We held hands,
again, as we walked down the concrete steps.
The fans were out of control but I didn’t care. My date was really tall and looked like he
could protect me if he needed to. He stopped walking in front of a row of
obnoxious guys.
“Ok, you’re here and I’ll be a few
seats down there.” He said while
motioning down a few rows.
“Oh, we’re not sitting
together?” I asked.
“No, I couldn’t get seats next to
each other.” He said.
“Take care of my girl.” He said to the men that surrounded me.
“We will.” Replied a young guy who clearly had too much
to drink.
He gave me a big
hug and slapped my butt before he walked down to his seats. Once I settled in the drunken guys started to
ask a bunch of questions.
“Is that your boyfriend? Why aren’t you two sitting together? Want a beer?”
I tried to stay friendly as I answered each question but I felt like a
sacrificial lamb.
My date looked up
a few times to make sure I was ok. I
smiled and waved a couple of times. He could
tell that I was actually having fun with these guys and I don’t think he liked
that. He walked up to check on me a
couple of times and reminded my new friends that I was with him. The guys really didn’t care about him; they
were more concerned about the game. They
yelled a lot, high fived each other and continued to ask questions about my
date. They couldn’t believe that my date
took me to a game and left me with complete strangers. I had to agree with
them, it was odd. One guy handed me a
beer and that’s when my date walked up to collect me.
“Put that beer down. I’ll buy you one at the bar.” He said.
I chugged the
beer behind his back and high fived everyone on my way out. I’m pretty sure my date didn’t notice.
We watched the
remainder of the game at a bar across the street. He apologized over and over again and kicked
up the public display of affection. He brushed
my hair away from my eyes, placed his hand over mine and complimented me. I got chills.
The game ended
and a million of fans walked into the bar.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him so I could hear him
talk. I hoped that he would kiss me but
he didn’t. We just talked until I told
him I had to get home. We interlocked
our arms as he escorted me to my car, again, very romantic! Natural, the next thing to do was kiss. We
were finally alone, here was his chance!
“Well, thank
you! I had fun.” I said with huge smile.
I swayed back and forth patiently waiting for the fireworks.
“You’re
welcome.” He said then shoved his hands
into his pockets before walking away.
No hug or good-bye
kiss! Not one comment about how much fun he had! No plan to see each other again. It was the coldest good-bye I have ever had! He simply walked away and left me standing
next to my car, alone. Didn’t he WANT to
kiss me? What the hell!!!!
I critiqued my date the whole two hours drive
home. It was a good night as far as I
could tell. We flirted, we laughed, we
held hands so what happened? Where was
my good-bye kiss? I refused to
acknowledge the possibility that he might not be interested in me. He had to be! I checked my emails as soon as
I got home and noticed that he sent me a message.
“Hey! I had
a great time tonight and hoped that you would like to meet at the casino for
dinner next weekend.” He said.
Ok, so he DID
have fun tonight. Thank goodness! I
guess he was just being a gentleman.
That’s a good thing! This means that he respected me and wanted a
relationship, right? I went to bed happy
and accepted his invitation in the morning.
I met him at the
casino the following weekend. It was a
Friday night and the casino was busy.
The restaurant, on the other hand, was slow but our table wasn’t ready.
“But our
reservations are for 7pm. It’s 7pm
now. Why isn’t it ready?” He asked the hostess.
“I apologize
sir. Please have a drink on us at the
bar.” She said with a smile.
We
sat at the empty bar while we waited for our table but it was obvious that he was annoyed. I asked him how the renovations were going to
distract him from the situation. He drew
the layout of his penthouse on a cocktail napkin and described the tiles he
imported from Europe. I didn’t offer to
decorate his home this time. Pier One
Import/IKEA décor could never compete with granite and original paintings from sought
out artists.
I waited for him to put his hand over mine
or say something sweet to make me smile, like he did on our first date, but he
didn’t. I guess he was still respecting
me so I didn’t read into anything. Instead he continued to describe his new home
and kept one eye on the hostess. He was fuming
over the table and it was not attractive.
The angrier he got the more I noticed other flaws. For example, his pants were too short and he
had a tiny hole in the seam of the shoulder area of his button down shirt. Why would a man wear a shirt with a hole in
it or pants that the cleaners shrank? I
couldn’t stop staring at that stupid hole as he complained about the
restaurant. I tried to focus on his
pretty face but he excused himself while I was in mid sentence. Now, the only thing I could focus on were his
exposed ankles as he walked away. He
returned a few minutes later.
“Our table is ready, let’s go sit.”
He said when he got back.
He put his arm
around my waist and kissed my neck. I
was surprised by his sudden display of affection and slightly embarrassed. He then pulled out a twenty-dollar bill from
his pocket and handed it to the hostess as we walked by. I knew it was a twenty because he folded it
in a way that the number 20 was facing up.
Oh, and he told me it was a twenty-dollar bill.
“Sometimes you have to spot a
twenty to get what you want in life.” He
said loud enough for the hostess to hear. I almost died!
She walked us
through the restaurant towards a half moon shaped booth. I went in the booth first but wasn’t sure when
to stop moving. We faced the entire
restaurant and the few people that were there stared at us. I wasn’t comfortable and I asked if we could move but he ignored me. I tried to put some distance
between us but he pulled me closer to him and rested his arm around my
shoulders.
“Did you see what I did? I gave her
a twenty so we can get the best table in the room.” He said beaming.
Apparently the
word inconspicuous was not in this man’s vocabulary. Not only did this guy wave the cash before
handing it over, he made a rude comment for everyone to hear. And now he’s asking me if I SAW him behaving
like a jackass? That’s when it hit me; I
didn’t like this guy. This poorly
dressed man was too pretentious for me.
“I did see that.” I said trying to make light of an awkward
situation.
This date sucked. First of all, we sat shoulder to shoulder. I like to make eye contact when I talk to
someone. Secondly, he was a bragger. This guy loved to talk about his career, his move to Boston and his plans for an upcoming
vacation.
“Where do I
fit in any of your plans?” I asked.
Now, I know it
was too early for me to ask him that but I really wanted to know what this guy
wanted from me. It was obvious that he
didn’t want a relationship. It sounded
like he was more interested in having a captive audience. Tonight, I was the lucky girl who got to hear
all about his fabulous life.
“We are going to split penne pasta and the
veal.” He told the waitress without
consulting me.
“It’s ok that I ordered for us,
right? Right!” He said smiling.
He didn’t give me
time to answer. Instead, he pulled out
the napkin he took from the bar and continued to draw his penthouse. I tried to be interested but he started to
bore me. He name-dropped every chance he
got but I had no idea who those people were.
I was relieved when the waitress brought us our dinner. He could finally
stop talking!
I arranged the
plates on our table and split the veal between us. He pulled the utensils from my hands and
proceeded to cut the veal on my plate.
“What are you doing?” I asked
“I’m cutting your food. I like to take care of my girls.” He replied.
I wasn’t sure
what to say or do. I simply sat there,
speechless, as he cut up my food. I also
didn’t know what he meant by “My girls.”
This was the first time in my life that a man cut my dinner for me or referred
to me as one of his girls.
“Do you want me to feed you?” He asked while holding a piece of veal
pierced through his fork.
“Are you serious?” I asked.
“Nope.” He said then popped the fork into his own
mouth.
He then patted
me on my head! I wanted to punch him.
Who does that? What the hell was going
on here?
“Why did you just do that?” I asked
“Do what?” He asked.
“Pat me on the head!” I snapped.
“I was just being cute.” He explained.
“Well, it’s not cute. Don’t do that again.” I said
We sat in silence as I ate the bite
size pieces of veal. After dinner, he
went ahead and ordered a chocolate flourless cake. I’m not a big fan of chocolate; he would have
known that if he asked. Again, he cut the cake into pieces. This time he tried to feed it to me. I pushed his hand away and shook my
head. This date was over so I pulled my
phone out of my bag to check my text messages.
“I’m well endowed.” He said out of nowhere.
Was it just me or was this
statement a total turn off? We were on a
second date! What woman wants to hear
that crap from a guy she hasn’t even kissed yet? If he was trying to get my
attention, he succeeded. I turned away from my cell phone to look at him.
“Pardon?” I asked.
It was the only thing I could say out loud that did include obscenities.
“I’m
so big, I can’t use condoms. They are
all too small for me.” He explained.
Oh my GOD! He was
serious! I wracked my brain trying to
figure out why the hell he would tell me this!
I don’t remember asking about his anatomy. We were eating in silence for the past ten
minutes! He must have noticed that I was
completely uninterested in him and this was his desperate attempt to rope me
back in.
“You’ll see later.” He whispered into my ear.
I started to
giggle so he giggled too. It was all so
crazy! Why was he saying these things? But then, it finally clicked! He just wanted
to sleep with me! I burst out
laughing. I did not like this guy so why
would I spend the night? Did all of “his
girls” sleep with him? Did he forget that I was a human being and not just a
plaything? I didn’t care what he
thought; I wanted this flood pants wearing blowhole to go away!
“Stay the night. I have a room.” He said.
“NO WAY.”
I replied.
“Come on, stay.” He said trying to seduce me with this freaky
eye thing he was doing.
“Thank you so much for dinner. I really need to get going.” I said.
“It’s only 9:00. Don’t you want to come back to my room to
watch TV or something? If you stay, we
could get room service in the morning.”
He said.
I wanted to tell
him to give it up, it was not happening!
This guy didn’t want to date me; he just wanted to sleep with me and I am not
prostitute! Nothing that came out of his
filthy mouth could ever entice me to stay.
“I really have to go. My friend is in a ditch. ” I said and pointed to my phone.
“What? Is she ok?”
He asked
“Yeah, she’s fine.” I said as I picked up my bag.
“Let me walk you out at
least.” He said.
“That’s ok, really.” I said as I exited the dining room.
I got into my car, turned up the radio and
finally stopped trying to figure out what I did wrong. He just wanted to get laid; I guess it’s a
compliment.
The meat cutter
called me that night and left me voicemail wondering if I got home ok. I sent him a text saying that I did and
thanked him again. He called me every
day for three days. I didn’t return any
of his calls. His last message was:
“It’s me again. This is my final call to you. If you don’t call me back then you will never
hear from me again.”
He was right, I never heard from him
again.
