Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Introduction To My Book!


Introduction:



I was born February 14, 1971.  That’s right, Valentine’s Day, the official day of love. I should have some special insight on love and dating.  I should be floating through life in a perpetual state of euphoria with the perfect man by my side.  Cupid himself should be channeling his matchmaking skills through me so I could help all women find their true love. Unfortunately, I wasn’t born with any unique ability to seek out fairytale love for anyone, including myself.

I am the token single girl in my group of friends but I didn’t always hold this title.  I was involved in two long-term relationships in my twenties and even got engaged at the age of twenty-eight. I thought the rest of my life was going to be wonderful.  How could I not?  My fiancĂ©e was my best friend, a date for every occasion and a gift giver on holidays, including my birthday.  I had companionship, security and what I thought was everlasting love.  My happily-ever-after came to a screeching halt six months before my wedding day.  I realized that I would be happier single than being married to an alcoholic.

            Not being married with at least one child by the time I turned thirty freaked me out but I got through it.  Like everyone else, I assumed that being single was just temporary.  I met a couple of potential husbands but luckily I stopped ignoring the red flags and walked, more like ran, away from disaster.  I suppressed my urge to panic and continued to search for the right man for me.  I was frustrated with being single as I fumbled through the horrible world of dating.  It took years but I came to terms with the possibility that I may NEVER find the right man.  I embraced my single status and truly enjoyed my lifestyle but it wasn’t easy.  As a matter of fact, it was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do.  For some reason, people couldn't comprehend how I could possibly be happy with living a lonely life.  I assured them that I wasn't lonely but that only made them question my mental stability.  Clearly, there was something wrong with me.

            At some point, I fell for society’s belief that there was something wrong with me and sought out professional help.  Being single and comfortable with idea of never getting married wasn’t normal.  I was supposed to be desperately searching for a husband not just dating for the fun of it.  Trust me, dating wasn’t always fun but I did find enjoyment in some aspects of it.  Or did I?  Maybe I was fooling myself to believe that I could live a fulfilling life alone?   Maybe I was depressed or even deranged and didn’t even know it!  I got tired of defending my lifestyle and made an appointment with a therapist.  I needed someone to help me understand what I was obviously missing.