The Business Associate

            I met this guy at a bar.  Actually, a friend I run into every time I go to this particular bar introduced us.  My friend was happily married and loved to hear my dating stories.  They made him feel good about being out of the dating world.

            “I want to introduce you to someone.  He’s a REALLY nice guy.”  He said

            “That’s what everyone says.”  I said

            “Ha!  True but this guy really is.  Look, I’m trying to get him to move here to help me with my business. “ He explained.

            “So, you’re pimping me out?”  I asked

            “Sort of.”  He admitted.

            “No thank you.”  I said

            “Come on!  Go on one date, that’s all I’m asking, just one little tiny date.  What do you have to lose?  You’re single, he’s single; you two are a perfect match.”  He said.

            “We are a perfect match because we are both single?”  I asked

            “Yes.  Just meet him.”  He said

            Before I had the chance to argue his ridiculous statement; a 6’3” bald man appeared and the formal introductions were made.  He was sort of cute, if you like the football player type.  Personally, I don’t. 

            “So it’s all set then.  I’ll see you Wednesday night at 6.”  The Business Associate said as I collected my things to leave.

            “Sure, whatever.  See you there.”  I replied.

            I had a bad feeling about this guy but what the hell, I could be wrong.  He could end up being the love of my life.  I arrived at the restaurant on time and walked towards the bar area.  I noticed that the friend who introduced me to The Business Associate was leaning up against the bar.

            “What are you doing here?”  I asked

            “I wanted to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”  He said

            “What do you mean?  I thought you said he was a nice guy.”  I said.

            “He is but he’s a typical guy and sometimes men do stupid things.  I don’t want him to end up being another bad date story.  I figured I would be here just in case.”   He explained

            “Well, thank you, I guess.”  I said

            I found a table in the bar area and made myself comfortable.   My friend kept me company while I waited for my date.  It was 6:15 and there was no sign of The Business Associate.  I wanted to leave but my friend insisted that I stayed.  Part of me thought I was being tricked.  Maybe my friend, who was married, wanted to meet me tonight.  Maybe he was secretly in love with me and figured he would lie about fixing me up so he could take me out on a date.  I was about to lecture him on being faithful when The Business Associate walked in, twenty minutes late.  I wasn’t happy and made sure he knew it.  He apologized then did some stupid male handshake crap with our mutual friend.  The waitress brought over appetizers and drinks and our friend took a seat at the bar. 

            Within five minutes of the date, I knew I didn’t like this guy.  Within fifteen minutes I wanted to leave.   I couldn’t pretend to be impressed by the fancy schools he attended or know the people he named dropped.  I tried to find something in common with him but was unsuccessful.  I started to politely wrap things up when he invited me to a weekend away.

            “Are you serious?  You are inviting me to romantic weekend in Newport RI?  Next weekend?”  I asked

            “I am.  Newport is beautiful and I could see us having a great time there.”  He said.

            “I’m familiar with Newport but I don’t know you.  Why would I leave Connecticut to go on a second date with a stranger in another state?  Not just a date; a romantic weekend!  Don’t you think that’s a little extravagant? How do I know you’re not going to kill me and leave my body to rot?  No thank you, I don’t want to end up being a missing person.”  I said.

            “Do you really think I would harm you?”  He asked.

            “I don’t know but I’m not willing to find out!”  I said.

            “I’ll get us separate rooms if you’d like.”  He said

            “No thank you.” I said again.

            I pulled my sweater off the back of my chair and grabbed my wallet out of bag.  I looked across the table and saw the disappointed look on his face.  I felt bad for him and got mad at myself for being mean.  I didn’t have to accuse him of being a murderer, I could have simply said no. 

            “I’m sorry.  I know you wouldn’t kill me.  I just don’t feel comfortable going away with you.”  I said.

            “It’s ok, I sort of understand.”  He said.

           

            I felt better after my apology.  He asked if I wanted anything else; I didn’t.  I asked what how much money I should leave for the tab but He didn’t answer me.  Instead he pushed out his lips and started to pout.  He then tilted his head down and raised his eyebrows.

            “What are you doing?’  I asked but he didn’t answer me.

            “Are you pouting?”  I asked and he nodded his head yes.

            “Can you please stop that?”  I said and he shook his head no.

            “Seriously.  Stop!  You look like an idiot!”  I whispered loudly.

            Our mutual friend jumped off his bar chair and ran over to our table. 

           

            “What are you doing?”  He asked The Business Associate.

            “I’m trying to get a second date.”  He replied still pouting.

            “That’s how you try to get a second date?!”  He asked.

            The Business Associate bobbed his head up and down.  Our mutual friend was just as mortified as I was. 

            “You got this?”  I asked my friend

            “Yup.  I’m sorry.”  He said as I walked away from the hot mess.

I never heard from The Business Associate again.  I did see my friend a couple of months later.  We pretended that my date never happened.