I Once Met A Man in Nantucket

     One of the prettiest places in New England is Nantucket.  It's located in Massachusetts and a short boat ride away from Cape Cod.  This popular vacation spot for many Bostonians looks like a backdrop for a Nautical photo shoot. If you’ve been to Nantucket then you know the type of people that vacation there.  For those of you who have never been, there’s only word I could use that best describes the majority these vacationers.  Wealthy. 

     This beautiful Island is inundated with people wearing the bright colors of Lilly Pulitzer and whales from the Vineyard Vines line.  Pearly white smiles, hair extensions and Botox runs ramped here along with diamonds and gold.  I know it sounds tacky but it’s far from it.  For some reason, these people can elegantly pull off the bling. It’s weird.

    Once a year this prestige area holds a sailboat race called Figawi.  Figawi takes place every Memorial Day weekend and the partying is crazy.  I don’t know the history of this race but I do know it draws an incredible amount of people from various income brackets.  This particular year, I was on of those people.

     My friend Mel grew up in Cape Cod and has lived in Boston for years.  Figawi weekend has always been a big deal for her and she usually rents a house for the event.  For some reason, she wasn't able to rent a home this year but she still wanted to celebrate the holiday weekend and get to Nantucket at some point.  She knew I didn't have any major plans for the long weekend so she invited me to stay with her in Boston. 

            “Stay the whole weekend.  We’ll go over to Nantucket for lunch or something.”   Mel said over the phone but I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stay that long.  Not to mention the fact that the only way to get to Nantucket is by boat.  Again, I don't like boating.

     My initial plan was to drive to Boston Friday night for dinner then return home Saturday.  However, once I entered Mel’s home and she handed me an ice cold drink I knew I was staying for the whole weekend.

“My friend is taking us over to Nantucket on his boat tomorrow.  We’ll see if we can get a room, just in case.”  Mel informed me Saturday night over drinks.   

“Sounds good to me!”  I said.  Clearly I was intoxicated.

    

     Mel’s friend still lives in Cape Cod and owns a huge boat.  They have been friends for years and he has always been generous to us girls.  The only thing he asks from us is to be punctual and to be neat.  So, when he offered to take us over to Nantucket Sunday, we knew we needed to be at his house in the Cape on time.  That meant our friend Jan had to wait for us on the busy streets of Boston with her overnight bag. 

    I worried about the boat ride mostly because I didn’t want to make a mess on his boat.  Before I had time to fixate on my fears, we were on a boat and making overnight accommodations.

    I know you’re all wondering if I survived.  Well, I wore a life jacket and prayed the entire thirty minutes so I was fine.  My friends applauded me when we docked and I appreciated their support.

“That was a pleasant surprise.  Let’s hope the ride home is also uneventful.”  I said as we walked to our hotel.

 We headed to lunch after we checked into our room.  As we approached the restaurant I noticed a line of people waiting for a table.  This was my first time here so I was unaware of the dress code.  I had on a $6 summer dress from H&M circa 2007 while everyone around me wore $1000 outfits.  I could feel the stares from the women as I walked by them and I will admit that I was a little intimidated.  We reached the restaurant and I took my place in line behind a woman wearing a big floppy hat.

“What are you doing?”  Mel asked me

“Waiting in line.” I explained.

“We don’t wait in line in Nantucket. “  She said grabbing my hand.

 Apparently Mel’s friend is well known here so he gets the VIP treatment.   It felt pretty damn good to strut by the swanky ladies.  

            “Good day.”  I said under my breath as I walked by them.

     The wait staff in the restaurant made sure they took very good care of us and I didn’t question a thing.  The food was amazing, the drinks were delicious and the service was outstanding.  We had a blast!

           

“You girls go have your fun and meet me at Lola 41 for dinner.” He said as we walked through the crowded coble streets.  We agreed then synchronized our watches before we went our separate ways. 

            “Here we go!”  Mel said directly to Jan.  I simply smiled not knowing what I was in for.

    We bounced from one jammed packed bar to another.  Jan handed me bright color cocktails while Mel snapped pictures with her camera.  After a few drink, I completely forgot the fact that I was among with wealthy.  

            “Do you want me to take your pictures?”  Some guy asked.

            “SURE!”  Mel replied handing him her camera. 

            “Spin around in circles a few times.”  He said as he snapped pictures.  It was odd but we didn’t care, we were having fun.  

            “Come on! You girls are coming on our boat.”  He said leading us out of the bar.   Of course we had no choice but to follow the handsome man and his friends.

     We exchanged names as we walked to the marina and the usual small talk took place.  These guys were loud and a lot of fun.  They fit right in with the rest of the crowd. I figured the marina would be a quite compared to the bars but I was wrong.  I heard a lot of "WoooHooo" coming from boats that played loud music.
  We climbed onto the docked boat and that’s when I saw him; Nantucket Man.

He wasn’t as boisterous as his friends but I was drawn to his shyness.  Like many other guys on the island, this 6’4’ blond beauty was covered in Vineyard Wear from head to toe.  There was even a Whale stamped on his flip fops!

     The usual introductions were made and the flirting began.

            “Yeah, I live in New York.  Do you ever go to New York?”  He asked before flashing his perfect white teeth.

            “As a matter of fact I do.”  I said wondering if he used white strips.

            “You have to come into the city and let me show you around!”  He said then described all of the restaurants, museums and sporting events that he would take me to.  I hoped that this guy wasn’t screwing with me.  He seemed so nice.

            “We have to go!”  Mel said after she realized the time.

            “Take out your phone.  Her number is 860-123-4567.  Call her later.”  Mel instructed Nantucket Man.  He took my number and promised to get in touch with me later.  Mel, Jan and I jumped off the boat and ran to meet Mel’s friend.  We made it right on time.

     Nantucket Man sent me a text while we were at dinner. 

            “What did your gentleman caller send you?”  Mel’s friend asked.  Of course I had to share my message with everyone at the table and they helped me with my replies. 

            “He asked to meet me later at 21 Federal.”  I informed my friends.

            “Looks like you girls are in for a long night.  Just meet me at 9am.” He said after dinner.

     We met up with Nantucket Man that night.  We hung out at 21 Federal for a while before we headed to another place.  Throughout the night I found out he worked in finance, hedge funds to be exact, and a Harvard graduate.   He lived in NYC for years and loved everything the city had to offer.  His blues eyes danced while he described the places he wanted to take me.

            “I would love to do all of those things.”  I said over the loud music. 

            “I would love to take you!”  He said smiling.  Did I mention the fact that he had nice teeth?  There was a lot of vodka sodas and a lot of promises made by Nantucket Man that night. 

     The next morning was painful.   We had to meet Mel’s friend at 9am.  I volunteered to get ready first but it wasn’t easy.  I stepped over an empty pizza box and tried to piece together the events of the previous night.  From what I could recall, it was a good night and I met a nice guy.  A guy who I planned on seeing again soon.

     Nantucket Man sent me a few texts that day and throughout the week.  He invited me to the city and I really wanted to go but I didn’t want to commit to an overnight night.  Luckily, I have a few friends that live in New York City and I planned on going out to dinner there in a couple weeks.  I suggested that he meet me for a drink after I have dinner with my friend and he agreed.

“A Harvard graduate? Did you tell you tell him you’re an Albertus Magnus Graduate?”  My friend Kelly asked over lunch a few days before my trip to the City. 

            “Nope.  I’ll have to make sure I stress the fact that I was enrolled in the Accelerated Program.  That sounds a little more impressive.”  I said.  We both laughed knowing that it really wasn’t. As I described Nantucket Man to Kelly it dawned on me; we might not be compatible.

            “He sounds nice and all but those rich guys are a different breed.  I bet his family is very proper and he smokes expensive cigars after dinner.”  I said.

            “Oh yeah, totally!  But you could hang with that crowd though.”  She said.

            “You think so?”  I asked

            “Of course you could!  You’re probably the most exciting thing to happen to him.  This could be a great thing!”  She said which made me feel better.

     A few days later I was in my Friend Yasmin’s apartment on the upper east side of New York City.  As we prepared to go out to dinner, I expressed my concern about Nantucket Man.

            “I know I shouldn’t be intimated but I kind of am.”  I confessed.

            “Why?  He’s a guy, like all of the other guys you know.  He just happens to live a comfortable life.”  She said trying to put things into perspective.

            “Yeah, I know that but I’m not sure if I would be comfortable with someone so upscale.  I curse an awful lot in casual conversation.”  I said

            “I’m sure he swears too.  Don’t over think it, lets just meet him tonight.  Who knows, he might be the one.”  She said as we left her apartment. 

    The plan was to have Nantucket Man meet us for a drink later that night.  Half way through dinner I sent him a text letting him know we were in SOHO.  He replied instantly.

          “SOHO sucks.” I read it out loud.  I looked at Yasmin as she stared at me blankly.  My initial reaction was to reply with  “Go fuck yourself” but Yasmin thought that was a little too harsh.  She helped me compose a non-confrontational text that asked him where he would like to meet.  He didn’t give me a straight answer so I let him know that we were going to SOHO Grand then put my phone away.  I ignored the multiple beeps that came from my bag.

            “I’m not in the mood for games tonight.”  I explained to Yasmin.

     We headed to SOHO Grand after dinner and made ourselves comfortable on one of the plush coaches.  We ordered glasses of Prosecco before we read his text messages.  Each one was more ridicules than the last.  I won’t bore you with the details so I’ll just list a few of them:

“There’s going to be a line” 

“They won’t le me in. I’m wearing what I wore in Nantucket”

“People in SOHO are losers”

            “I’m on my way”

            “I’m here.  I don’t see you.”

 

     I walked around the bar and found him in another room.  He gave me a hug hello before I walked him over to where we were sitting.

            “So how long have you lived in New York.”  Yasmin asked after the introductions were made.

            “Too long.” He replied then put his feet up on the table.  His response and action shocked us but it didn’t stop Yasmin from asking another question.

            “Where about in New York do you live? “ She asked politely.

            “Upper East Side.”  He barked.  The waitress walked over and ask Nantucket Man to remove his feet from the table.  I asked her for another drink and so did Yasmin.  We knew we would need another one to get through this.

     Nantucket Man was visibly upset and said the most offensive things.  I will use the word “blank” for each horrible comment he made so you can get an idea of what I mean.

            Yasmin:                      “I live on the Upper East Side.”

            Nantucket Man:         “No you don’t”

            Yasmin:                      “Yes I do.”

            Nantucket Man:         “The Upper East Side is God’s country except for all of the BLANKS that live there.”

     Yasmin was speechless.  She looked at me for help but I didn’t know what to say.            

            Nantucket Man:         “I pay a sickening amount of taxes to live there and for what?  Every weekend there is a BLANK or a BLANK parade so of course I can’t ride my bike on my usual route! Those people don’t pay taxes! I should be able to ride my fucking bike whenever I want.  I’m going to move to Texas!”

     Yasmin looked at me in disbelief as I sat there with my hand over my face.  The fowl things that were coming out of this proper man’s mouth surprised the crap out of me.  He was the most offensive person I have ever met! I didn’t know what to do so I just sat there quietly, like an idiot, while Yasmin tried to carry on a conversation.

            Yasmin:                      “My family has property in Texas.”

            Nantucket Man:         “Liar!”

Yasmin stood up, grabbed her drink and looked in shock.

“I give up.  He’s an A-Hole.”  She said before she walked away.

            “Are you ok?” I asked him

            “Let’s get out of here.”  He said

            “I’m not going anywhere but you can leave if you want.”  I said

            “I can’t.  That would be rude and I don’t want to be rude.” He said which stunned me.  Did he not hear himself talk the last ten minutes?  Everything that came out of his mouth was rude!

            “Trust me, nothing is keeping you here.  You can leave.”  I said pointing to the stairs.

            “No. I’ll wait for your friend.  We could share a cab.  We’ll see if she really lives by me.”  He said

     I stood up and told him to follow me.  I found Yasmin and we left the bar together.  We got a cab and Yasmin gave the driver her address.

            “You really do live in my neighborhood.”  He said.

            “Yes I do!”  Yasmin replied in a in your face tone.  I started to giggle and hoped he didn’t notice but my shoulders gave it away.  Yasmin pinched me a few times to get me to stop but it only made me laugh a little harder.  I looked over at Nantucket Man.  He looked so sad.

            “Are you going to cry?”  I asked but he didn’t answer me.   Yasmin pinched me harder which made me burst into laughter.   He asked the cab driver to drop him off first and handed me a fistful of cash.

            “It was nice seeing you again.”  I said as he got out of the car.  He mumbled something under his breath before he shut the door.

      I felt really bad for him.  Clearly he was an angry man with a lot of unresolved issues.  I definitely did not want to be around him or anyone like him. 

            “So. What did we learn from our bizarre night?”  Yasmin asked as we walked up the six flights of stairs to her apartment.

            “I will NEVER feel intimidated around ANY man again.  I swear he was very sweet the night I met him.  I can’t believe how he fooled me!”  I said.

            “If I wasn’t there to witness his behavior I would never have believed a man like that existed.”  Yasmin said.

            “These are the guys I attract.  I’m so glad you were there so you can see that I don’t make these dates up.”  I said.

            “I’m glad I was there too but I’m afraid I’m going to run into him out in the street.”  Yasmin said laughing.

            “I wouldn’t worry about him.  I’m sure you’re the last person he ever wants to run into.  Besides, he’s going to be moving to Texas soon.”  I reminded her.  She just laughed and crossed her fingers.