The Ambiguous Suitor

“Do you like Jazz music?”  He asked.

“I do.” I replied and it wasn’t a lie.

“The Litchfield Jazz Festival is going on this weekend.  Would you like to go?”  He asked.  My heart raced with excitement but I didn’t want him to know it.

“Sure.  It sounds like fun.”  I replied calmly.

“Great! I’ll pick you up in a hour.”

“In an hour?” I asked in a panic.

“Yeah, in an hour. Do you have any snacks?”  He asked while my mind raced.  I couldn’t be ready in an hour! It takes more than an hour to get ready for a date!  I immediately ran upstairs and dove into my closet.

     I noticed that my toes were in desperate need of a pedicure but there was no time for that. I took a step back from my closet in disgust.  I didn’t have anything to wear but a trip to the mall was out of the question so I continued to search for the perfect outfit. I then remembered that there was a lot of plucking and shaving that needed to get done! I had to get off the phone and fast if I was going to be ready for this date!

“Snacks, do you have any?  We could stop at the deli if you don’t.”  He suggested as I desperately pulled a few dresses out of my closet.

“The deli is a good idea.  I’ll see you in an hour.”  I said before I hung up and ran into the bathroom.

     I met this guy the usual way; he hit on me in a bar.  We exchanged numbers and went out a few times but I couldn’t tell if he liked me.  He was tall, blond and gorgeous not to mention very charming but I couldn’t tell if he liked me liked me. We met for lunch a few times and I couldn’t read him. Our dinner dates weren’t earth shattering.  They weren’t boring just not overly stimulating.  I wasn’t sure if he wanted to date me or just be my friend whatever his intentions were, I started to really like him.

    We met for drinks after work one day and he walked me to my car at the end of the night like he has done many times before.  This time though, he leaned in and gave me a kiss goodbye.  I was surprised and relieved; a friend would not have kissed me that way.  I assumed he wanted to date me and I was ok with that!

   We got together a few nights after the big kiss night.  I tried to flirt with him but he didn’t bite.  I thought he wasn’t into me and that maybe he was drunk when he kissed me the other night or worse; maybe he thought I was a bad kisser! I drove away that night thinking I would never hear from him again but I was wrong.  We had dinner a few more times and sometimes he kissed me goodnight and sometimes he didn’t.  It was very confusing so I stopped trying to figure it out.

   When he called me this Saturday to invite me to the Jazz Festival, I was pleasantly surprised.  I was determined to figure out what type of relationship he wanted.  I was fine with just being friends but I would have preferred to be his girlfriend.

     He showed up exactly one hour after our telephone conversation and I was ready.  He walked into my condo, gave me a big hug and a make out session commenced.  I felt like a teenager making out for the first time!  I pulled away before things we got carried away and walked to my storage closet.  I grabbed a picnic basket and a blanket.  I also took a bottle of wine from my wine cellar (AKA my kitchen counter) and we were off.

     We stopped at the local deli and packed my basket with sandwiches, fruit and more wine. 

 “This is going to be a good day.”  He said then gave me a kiss on my cheek.

“I think it will be too.”  I replied.  It looked like my Ambiguous Suitor was coming around.

     The hour ride to Litchfield went very well.  We laughed a lot and he put his hand on my leg while he drove.  All good signs!

     We found a parking spot quickly.  He carried the picnic basket and I carried a blanket, it was the least I can do. 

            “Let’s get as close to the stage as possible.”  He suggested as he lead the way.

    We walked by so many couples sitting on blankets and drinking wine.  It may have been early afternoon but there was a lot of romance in the air.  I paid attention to every move The Ambiguous Suitor made and listened to every word he said.  I needed to make sure our make out session wasn't just a fluke. 

            “How’s this spot?”  He asked pointing to a grassy area.

            “Perfect.”  I said rolling the blanket out.

   

     We made ourselves comfortable before pouring wine into the wine glasses and he kissed me again!  He rubbed my back a few times and brushed my hair away from my eyes.  I thought he was adorable and treated me so nicely.

     He asked if I was enjoying myself as he handed me the other half of his sandwich.  I told him I was and handed him a napkin.  I made a comment about the weather and how nice it was to see so many happy couples around us.  Apparently, it was the wrong thing to say.

            “Wait a minute. This is kinda feeling like a date.  I want to make sure you know that we are NOT on a date.”  He said which surprised me.

     I looked down at the picnic basket, the two partially filled wine glasses and my freshly shaved legs.  It looked like we were on a date to me.

           

“I’m sorry.  I’m confused.  We are NOT on a date?”  I asked.

            “Ah, no we are not.”  He replied.

            “I’m sorry but I’m confused.  What is going on then?” I asked.  I was so embarrassed.  How could I have misunderstood his actions?

            “I just thought you would like to spend a nice day outdoors.”  He said then stood up.

            “I’ll be right back.”  He said before he walked away.

     So, there I was sitting alone on a blanket, surrounded by hundreds of couples snuggling with each other. I did what any other upset single girl would have done in my shoes, I poured myself another glass of wine then opened the other bottle.  I really wanted to cry but decided to try to eat everything in the basket instead.

     Thirty minutes went by and he wasn’t back.  I looked around the crowded field but I couldn’t find him.  For a minute I worried that he left me there.  I franticly looked for his keys on the blanket and was relieved when I found them.  I slipped the keys into my purse and hoped that he would return soon.

     Another thirty minutes went by and he was still missing.  I needed to use the restroom so I got up and headed towards the concrete building.  I’m not going to lie; I was feeling the wine and the sun beating on me didn’t help my intoxicated condition. I staggered into the bathroom then took my time walking back to our spot.  I wanted him to know how it felt to be left alone but he was not there.  I couldn’t believe that he abandoned me!  The fact the “we were NOT on a date” was irrelevant.  He should not have left me at alone at this festival. I desperately wanted to go home.  Part of me wanted to leave him there, I did have the keys but I decided to look for him instead.

     It took a while but I found him, playing Frisbee with a group of girls.  I was furious! He left me alone for over an hour so he could frolic with a group of girls!

            “Hey! What are you doing?”  I yelled.

            “Playing Frisbee.  Are you having fun?”  He asked still tossing the plastic disk.

            “No! I am not having fun.  I want to go home and I want to go home now!”  I shouted.

            “What? Why?  I’m not ready to leave yet.”  He said and the girls giggled. 
     I wanted to fight every girl there.  He was making me look like a fool and I did not like that at all.  I snapped.

     I’m not sure what I said exactly but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t shy with the profanity.  I know I wasn’t acting lady like but I didn’t care at this point.  I was livid.

     He didn’t stop playing and it irritated me.  I ran in the middle of the game, jumped up and grabbed the Frisbee midair.  I struggled to snap it in half but I couldn’t so I tried to fling it in the woods.  I said, “try” because I’m a bad Frisbee thrower, it landed next to my feet.   It wasn’t my proudest moment in life.

     He said his goodbyes to the girls and angrily walked back to the blanket with me.  We collected our things and then marched to his car.  We exchanged a few heated words but then I stopped talking.  I gave up on trying to get him to see my side.  He clearly didn’t understand why I was upset and couldn’t wait to drop me off. 

     Like my relationship with The Ambiguous Suitor the lesson learned from this experience is still unclear.  The only true moral I could come up with is not to drink red wine in the sun.  Next time I’ll pack a cooler with beers.