Introduction:
I was born February 14, 1971. That’s right, Valentine’s Day, the official
day of love. I should have some special insight on love and dating. I should be floating through life in a
perpetual state of euphoria with the perfect man by my side. Cupid himself should be channeling his matchmaking
skills through me so I could help all women find their true love.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t born with any unique ability to seek out fairytale love
for anyone, including myself.
I am the token single girl in my
group of friends but I didn’t always hold this title. I was involved in two long-term relationships
in my twenties and even got engaged at the age of twenty-eight. I thought the
rest of my life was going to be wonderful.
How could I not? My fiancée was
my best friend, a date for every occasion and a gift giver on holidays,
including my birthday. I had
companionship, security and what I thought was everlasting love. My happily-ever-after came to a screeching
halt six months before my wedding day. I
realized that I would be happier single than being married to an alcoholic.
Not being married with at least one child
by the time I turned thirty freaked me out but I got through it. Like everyone else, I assumed that being
single was just temporary. I met a
couple of potential husbands but luckily I stopped ignoring the red flags and
walked, more like ran, away from disaster.
I suppressed my urge to panic and continued to search for the right man
for me. I was frustrated with being single
as I fumbled through the horrible world of dating. It took years but I came to terms with the
possibility that I may NEVER find the right man. I embraced my single status and truly enjoyed
my lifestyle but it wasn’t easy. As a
matter of fact, it was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do. For some reason, people couldn't comprehend how I could possibly be happy with living a lonely life. I assured them that I wasn't lonely but that only made them question my mental stability. Clearly, there was something wrong with me.
At some
point, I fell for society’s belief that there was something wrong with me and
sought out professional help. Being
single and comfortable with idea of never getting married wasn’t normal. I was supposed to be desperately searching
for a husband not just dating for the fun of it. Trust me, dating wasn’t always fun but I did
find enjoyment in some aspects of it. Or
did I? Maybe I was fooling myself to
believe that I could live a fulfilling life alone? Maybe I was depressed or even deranged and
didn’t even know it! I got tired of
defending my lifestyle and made an appointment with a therapist. I needed someone to help me understand what I
was obviously missing.
so...what did your therapist say?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, i wish you'd find someone you can trust and settle down. Not everyone gets to land on the top of a bell curve or at the better end of the tail.
Hi you are not alone. I am 40 and single. But i dont make the most of it, i rarely go out because i enjoy watching movies. In my thirties and twenties i had friends to hang out with but now they found their partner and i hate going out on my own or start from scratch. So i embraced my single status but probably one would say i am doing this out of lazyness. Yes in a way but today most men arent the husband material especially in his 40s. Bad thing is people keep all the time questioning me at work like paparazzi while my other colleagues rarely get any attention with their presence. Yes we singles often get stalked by people with many questions. Its really annoying when people spot a single and want to ask many questions about her profile. Anyway staying single is not bad. Try to enjoy your hobbies, adopt a pet, pets keep me company and if one day my parents happen to pass away hope not. I will get more furry friends in my house.
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