I met Donna at the reservoir Saturday morning for our weekly walk. I look forward to our walks for two reasons: exercise and mental rejuvenation. Like me, Donna is single and is searching for the perfect guy. Sometimes we run dating scenarios by each other to make sure we don’t end relationships prematurely or prolong the inevitable. Once in a while, we all need a supportive friend to help us through a difficult decision. Today was one of those days.
“How are things going with that new guy?” She asked referring to the guy I was dating for the past three months.
“I think I have to end it.” I said reluctantly.
“Why? I thought things were going well and I really like him.” She said reminding me that she was there the night we met. If it wasn’t for Donna’s desperate pleads to be her date for the fundraising event I would have never met him.
“I’m the one that encouraged you to date him. He’s cute, age appropriate, very nice and he wore a custom made tuxedo. There aren’t many guys out there that can afford to do that.” She said trying to convince me to stick it out.
“Didn’t you two go away together last week?” She asked keeping the conversation going.
“Not really. I was away on business for a few days and he met me there. He set up a meeting with his colleagues at the same hotel. I was surprised when he told me since my company put me up at the Ritz Carleton.” I said trying to change the subject. I started to describe my hotel room and all of the amenities. I even talked about the weight room where I never stepped foot in.
“I know all about The Ritz. So tell me, what happened with him?” She asked.
“I can’t tell you.” I said
“Why not?” She asked
“Because if I tell you, you would have no choice but to tell me to end things and I’m not 100% sure if I should yet.” I said still stalling. I promised myself that I would never repeat what I saw that night.
“Spill it.” She said then stopped walking.
We stood in the middle of one of the trail for a few seconds as I contemplated telling her what really happened. I’ve never witnessed anything that distressing in my life and I needed more time to process it. The look on Donna’s face told me that I ran out of time. She refused to move until I told her what I was struggling to say.
“Fine, he used foot fungus spray!” I blurted then buried my face in my hands in embarrassment.
“So? What’s wrong with that?!” She asked while throwing her hands in the air.
“There’s nothing wrong foot spray if he sprayed his feet with it!” I said which confuse her more. I could see her trying to figure out the rest of the story.
“Where did he spray it?” She asked quietly.
“He used it on his genitals. He said that it helps with something but I couldn’t hear him over the screaming coming from my head.” I said anticipating laughter or maybe some words of advice.
“How do you know?” She asked fighting the urge to laugh out loud.
“You would think that he would be smart enough to do something that gross in the privacy of the bathroom but he didn’t!” I said.
“I’m afraid to ask but I need to know. How do you know he sprayed his junk?” Donna asked eagerly waiting to hear the whole story.
“Ok. So he took a shower in my room because his room wasn’t ready when he got there. I sat on the bed and read through the pamphlets I collected from the conference while I waited for him to get ready for dinner. He walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He had a can of foot spray in his hand and shook the hell out of it while walking around the room. He then proceeded to put his right foot on the bed in front of me. I looked up to ask him something but I stopped when I saw him reach down between his legs and sprayed. I saw a huge white cloud escaping the confinements of his towel. That alone was disgusting but then he shook things around to adjust himself. I was shocked!” I described the whole incident and I have to admit, it felt great talking about it.
“Well, that’s not proper Ritz Carleton behavior.” Donna said apathetically.
“No, it really isn’t.” I said agreeing with her. "Maybe if we were dating a little longer or even started to fart in front of each other I wouldn't be this upset. We haven't done anything that resembled longterm relationship behavior. Applying foot fungus spray between your legs is not a way to break us into that." I said trying to explain myself.
“How was dinner?” Donna asked.
“We never went out to dinner. I developed a headache and asked him to leave. The Ritz has amazing room service though!” I said.
“Nope. I think he was mad at me because I asked him to leave. I probably could have gone to dinner with him but I just couldn’t get that image out of my head! I think it’s over.” I said
“I think you might be right.” Donna said before suggesting that we go out for drinks later that night.
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