Dating in my twenties was so different than dating in my thirties. I was young and naïve and didn’t think that little white lies were such a big deal. One of those little white lies was pretending to love football. I don’t have a logical explanation as to why I fibbed about this. The only stupid excuse I could come up with is desperation. In my young delusional mind I thought that I could learn to love this sport therefore spend more time with my man. This facade didn’t work earlier with an ex boyfriend. I told him I loved football but he didn’t believe me. He was a Giants fan but I never paid attention to the game. Whenever my ex-boyfriend “had to watch The Giants,” I would complain and question his devotion to me. What I should have done was sit my ass down and watched it with him. At least I would have been prepared to lie to my next boyfriend.
“YES! I LOVE spending all day Sunday, Monday nights and Thursday nights sitting in front of a TV to watch a game!” I told Pax (Also known as my biggest mistake) over dinner one night.
“Yeah? Who’s your favorite team?” Pax asked.
Luckily for me he had on silver and black Tee shirt on with a picture of a football and the word “Raiders” splashed on the front of it.
‘The Raiders, of course!” I proclaimed. He believed me.
I met Pax at the gym. He was that loud obnoxious guy that all of the girls tried to flirt with. I played it cool and he eventually asked me out to dinner. I made sure to say all of the right things that night so he would fall in love with me.
“WOW! That’s awesome! Not many girls like football and the ones that I’ve met who do watch football love The Giants or The Patriots. You’re a one of a kind girl. You’re the kind of girl I would marry.” He said.
That’s all I needed to hear. He wanted to marry me, a huge Raiders fan. I learned a lot about the team in a very short time, I had no choice. About two months into our relationship he invited me to The Meadows to watch a Raiders and Giants game. I was excited and prepared.
“I would never ask a girl to a football game but you’re different. I think you’ll have a great time.” He said as he handed me a plastic shopping bag.
I looked into the bag and eagerly pulled out an oversized Raiders sweat shirt. I immediately pulled it on over the shirt I was wearing.
“It looks great on you!” Pax said while I posed for him. My plan worked, he was falling in love with me.
Two years later I discovered other aspects of football. For example, there are football fans and there are crazy football fanatics. Pax was a crazy fanatic. He yelled at the TV, throw things across the room and get into fights at bars all over a game of football. I was shocked the first few times I witnessed his adolescent behavior but became accustom to his antics. It was pathetic.
“Let’s go to California! We’ll go see a game in Oakland. We could both live out our dreams, together!” Pax said one Sunday afternoon still thinking I was a Raiders fan. I’ve always wanted to go to California so I agreed.
I insisted on staying in San Francisco instead of Oakland, he agreed. Our hotel was near pier 39 and I wanted to get something to eat. Pax wanted to rest up before the game.
“The game is tomorrow, why can’t we go out tonight?” I asked after we checked into our room.
“I don’t want to be tired. It’s going to be a long day. We need to rest. Don’t you want to be fresh for the game? It’s not everyday that people get to live out their dreams.” He explained, as he got ready for bed. We went to sleep.
The excitement on Pax’s face the next morning was annoying.
“I want to make sure we have everything.” He said while stuffing crap into a duffel bag.
“What do we have to bring? We are going to a football game.” I asked him suspiciously. “Be careful what you put in that thing, you don’t want to carry a heavy bag all day. Besides, they are going to search that thing.” I said trying to see what he was packing.
“Don’t worry about it, I’ll carry it.” He said as he finished packing then headed to the door. He was determined to bring that bag with us. At this point, I really didn’t care what he put into that bag. I just wanted to get this day over with so we can eat on Pier 39.
“Come on, we have to catch the bus.” He said with a big smile.
We took a bus to the subway and the subway to the football stadium. Pax made a few friends along the way. He was having such a good time with his fellow Raider fans. It was kind of cute. When the subway stopped moving, Pax's face lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Are we actually here?” Pax asked out loud.
“Yes we are my friend!” Replied the guy behind us then they gave each other a high five.
As we stepped onto the platform Pax’s body literally started to tremble. “Are you going to be ok?” I asked him.
“Yeah. How are you doing? Are you just as happy as I am right now?” He asked in a stoic voice.
“Oh, yeah. Totally!” I replied remembering that I was a Raiders fan too.
We walked among hundreds of Oakland Raider fans. I could see we were getting closer to the stadium so I got our tickets ready as we approached the entrance gate. I couldn’t stop staring at Pax; I have never seen him or anyone else get this excited about anything before.
“We are so close to living our dream.” He said over and over again. I simply smiled.
The security guys looked through Pax’s bag, looked at me then smiled before letting us through.
“Why is security smiling?” I asked Pax still trying to figure out what he put in that bag.
“Don’t worry about it.” He said leading us through the gate.
Once we got inside, Pax suddenly stopped walking and just stood there in silence.
“Are you ok?” I asked him. It took a while but he shook his head yes.
He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me into him. With my face buried into his muscular chest, he took in long deep breaths. He started to say something a couple of times but stopped himself. I didn’t want to ruin this moment so I stood there in silence. Minutes went by and the two of us just stood there, embracing, as people walked around us.
“Pax, um, can we go in the actual stadium please?” I asked him trying to peal myself away from him. He eventually released me, rested his hands on my shoulders and gazed into my eyes. It looked as if he was about to say something very important. Then it hit me. He was going to propose! Maybe this was the moment he was referring to when he said he was living his dream. I got so exciting at the thought of him proposing marriage to the love of his life in the one place in the world he loved. My heart started pounding like crazy and my face beamed with joy.
A voice in my head screamed; “ASK ME!! SAY IT!!” While I stared back into his eyes. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and finally said; “Honey.” Then paused for a moment.
“Yes.” I sang trying to contain my excitement. He stood quietly, looked at me lovingly and took in another deep breath.
“Are you ok Pax?” I asked hoping he would propose already. He slowly shook his head yes.
“I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” He finally said then kissed my forehead before he walked away with his bag. I was disappointed and confused. Where was my proposal? Didn’t he have a ring in that bag? Is being at a Raiders game in Oakland really his dream?
After coming to terms with the fact that Pax was not going to propose, I sat and waited for him outside the men’s room. He was taking way too much time in there but I was fine with that. I needed to recover from the last fifteen minutes of my life.
I searched the crowd for my boyfriend but I couldn’t find him. Rather than pacing back and forth in front of the men’s room, I decided to enjoy the scenery and sat on a bench. Even though I had little interest in this sport, I actually enjoyed watching the excitement on everyone’s face. There were families and couples all having a great time getting ready for the big game. Laughter and chatter filled the air along with the smell of popcorn and French fries. Watching people always entertained me but today it made me feel like I was a part of something special. I had a feeling this was going to be a great day after all.
I started to worry when thirty minutes went by and still no Pax. I stood up and cupped my hands over my eyes to shield them from the sun. A man whose walk was strikingly similar to Pax’s emerged from the bathrooms. It could have been him but I didn’t think this person was MY Pax. The figure started to shout out my name but I still didn’t recognize him. You see this man’s face was painted. Yes, I said it. He painted his face. His left side was silver and the right was painted black. In addition to the face painting, he changed into his “lucky” Raider’s gym paints, the ones with the multiple holes in the butt area. He also wore a football jersey with silver spikes coming out of the shoulders.
“You’re mad.” He stated when reached me.
I didn’t know what to say. All that I could utter was; “What are you doing?”
Pax raised his arms up in the air, threw his head back and screamed as loud as he could; “I’m living the dream baby! I’m living the dream! WoooHoooo!!” I didn’t want to ruin this man’s “Dream” so I didn’t say a word.
He slapped everyone high fives as they walked by us. He laughed and frolicked with the other Raider’s fans. Some people even stopped to have their picture taken with him. It was all so strange but not as strange as when he would shout out; “I’M LIVING THE DREAM BABY! I’M LIVING THE DREAM!” It was about the fiftieth time that he screamed out those words that I mentally checked out and started to drink, heavily.
Once we found our seats and the game began, his fanatic behavior escalated. It got so bad that he actually got into a screaming match with a woman. I wanted to die. Somehow the guys next to us got him to calm down. The same guys were kind enough to point out the fact that Pax had painted the colors on the wrong side of his face. You see, the silver was supposed to be on the right side the black was supposed to be on the left. Well, that threw him into a tizzy.
“Give me your mirror.” He demanded. I handed him my compact and held in my laughter. “I MESSED IT UP!!” He screamed. “This is your fault! I thought you were going to yell at me so I had to rush.” At first I wanted to punch him in his silver and black face but then I realized that his mistake was the best revenge.
“It’s wrong, it’s all wrong!” He was devastated, I tried so hard not to be jerk but I could help myself.
“So, does this mean you’re no longer living the dream?” I asked but he was not amused. He did become quite though, for about five minutes. I didn’t break up with him after this trip. Maybe I should have.
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